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    2/8/2006

    心灵日记:仰望着无云的蓝天 [更新7]

    第十三话

     

              今天,是我的生日。神送我的礼物是无云的蓝天,这是我最喜欢的礼物。蓝天,总是令我向往,向往着遨游于天际的那种无限的自由,向往着鸟瞰大地的那种高高在上的感觉,向往着渐渐与神接近的那种莫名的满足。

        生日,并没有给我多大的快乐。又长了一岁,意味着离生命的凋零又进了一步。我不是一个害怕死亡的人,毕竟曾经和死神无数次擦身而过,对我而言,与其说害怕死,不如说,是害怕等死。我不知道神会带着我去什么地方,我只是知道,现在,我也只能跟着他走,尽管我并不知道他在哪里……

        我的生命维持了整整21年,却始终是在神提供的舞台上演绎着自己的人生,这种感觉,就像是一个小丑,竭尽全力,为了生存,只好站在台子上,博得观众的一点笑声,而那观众,是一群很苛刻的怪物,有时哈哈大笑,有时,却又不停的向你投掷石块。不管是什么时候,神所担当的角色,永远是那个控制剧幕的,总是在适当的时候落下帷幕,或是,在适当的时候重新拉开,为我开启新的一台戏。

              21年,就是这样过来的……

        我呢,也只有接受的能力了,因为,我实在是不想活活被观众的石子砸死。

     

     

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